i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
