he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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