the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
