Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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