let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
