Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
im on a boat
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