i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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