i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
