How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
