Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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