I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
