I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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