he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
