Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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