come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
