hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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