just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
