She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I will be naked everywhere
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
