I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
