scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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