how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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