one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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