Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
