I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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