is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
