I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
birth control should be required to get into college
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
