OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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