How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
