video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize