Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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