Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
