So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
