But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Randomize
