addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
