Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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