ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
