He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
