So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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