guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And then my night got REAL pukey
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
