Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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