Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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