dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
