Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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