I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
