but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
