my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
