you guys were way drunker than both of me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
