What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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