just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
