found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
