I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize