I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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