Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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