Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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