I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
