Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
