I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
