I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
