I just made out with a guy for $7.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
