My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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