Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
