I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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